It's Not Worth Those Tears
by BulletStrong
Summary: Regina consoles Emma after Hooks "sacrifice" and she learns you don't always get the happy ending you want. Swan Queen. Hook and CS heavily mentioned. Set after the 5A finale. Not a happy ending.


She had no idea what she was doing. She was sitting in Snow's living room, listening to Emma's sobs. After Hook's "sacrifice", the Charming's asked her to teleport them to the loft, and of course she obliged. She was Emma's… friend. She felt ridiculous.

After the road trip and Emma's sacrifice, Regina had been sure of what she felt for Emma. Love. But she watched as Emma pushed them all away, making her entire universe revolve a single man. That pirate, who once aided in her capture and torture, who aided Rumple, who endangered her son, who threatened to kill them all hours ago. Regina let out a sigh. No, she couldn't let her love be discovered.

Snow frantically bounding down the steps, tears running down her face, "Please, Regina. I don't know what to say to her. She doesn't need a hope speech. She needs someone that understands true loss. Can you please talk to her?"

And dammit, why was she still so affected by Snow's pleading eyes?

"Get out, Regina." Well, what a warm greeting. She contemplated turning and running but… okay, seeing Emma this way was tearing her apart, even though she was annoyed with the blonde.

"Snow seems to think I have an idea what to do or say to help you but I don't. I don't understand any of the things you've done recently. It's like I don't recognize you anymore." And it pained her to voice this but it was true. This wasn't the Emma she loved… loves.

"I feel destroyed, defeated. Is this how you felt after… after Daniel?" Regina bristled because how dare she? Comparing Daniel with that son of a bitch. She didn't say anything. She knew if she opened her mouth… well, some things couldn't be unsaid.

"Regina, is this—"

"Stop. Do not compare them."

The silence was deafening. Regina wanted to run, to just go. She wanted to scream and yell. She wanted everything to be different. After sending Zelena away and breaking up with Robin, she had expected to arrive at the diner and for everything to fall into place. She expected Emma to realize that what they had was more precious than anything she'd ever seen. Because Emma claimed Hook brought down her walls but she hadn't needed them up with her, not when they defeated the Chernabog or found Lily or when she sacrificed her life for her. But no, Emma had still wanted the pirate. She had been crying bloody murder over his "sacrifice". _That man knows nothing of sacrifice_.

"You know… you kind remind me of him."

"Please don't insult me in such a manner again. I'm nothing like him. He played hero to get in your pants, Savior. His apologies were empty, his good deeds were actually done by others, because its so much easier to just take the credit, he endangered my son—"

"Our son!"

"Are you fucking kidding me right now? That's what you focus on? I'm telling you he's not worth these tears! You are free from him!"

"I love him, Regina."

"Then you don't know love."

"And you do?"

"I have loved with my whole heart. My Daniel was gentle and kind. He would never endanger me or call me such horrid things. Adoration, not obsession. Understanding, not guilt tripping or abuse! You and I have endured shallow love and love that betrayed us or done us wrong. But I have experienced romantic love so true that when I lost it, my entire soul was tainted. And I can tell you that Hook is _shallow_. You deserve better, Emma Swan."

"Better? Like who? You?"

Regina lifted her arms, shrugging, "Maybe."

And they just stared at each other, silent. They stared and stared and stared until, "Come here."

"Why?" Regina responded, her voice harsh.

"I need to feel something other than this pain. Please, Regina. Come here." She'd curse herself for obliging. She knew she would. But how could she resist this woman who looked just like Emma, whose voice sounded just like Emma's?

They undressed and caressed and kissed. Emma kissed her as if she never wanted to part. She held her like she could break, as if she could bear the thought of losing her. She made love to her. Regina felt it. She felt the adoration and care and reverence and love.

And as they lay side-by-side, hands still traversing slick skin, Emma kissed her oh so gently before ruining it all, "This was such a mistake."

Regina felt her heart seize.

"I love him but I love you too. And I can't have you." Emma began crying once more. This time more quietly.

"You've had my heart for a long time Emma."

"Hook is shallow and easy and everyone accepts us as a couple. If it was you and me? We'd get looks and stares and whispers. My parents wouldn't accept it. Henry wouldn't accept it. I refuse to ruin it all. I can't…"

Regina didn't want to hear anymore. She ran, just like she should've done from the start.

And the next day, when Emma told them she was going to the Underworld to save Hook by splitting her heart, all she could do was glare at her and say, "It could work."

All she could do was hope that Emma realized that True Love isn't shallow or easy. It's hard. It takes work. It's worth the risk.

All she could do was hope that when they tried to bring back the pirate, the hearts wouldn't mend together because they weren't True Loves.

All she could do was hope.


End file.
